I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He keeps bees of course he's weird
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
