Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
