How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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