we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
