I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
