I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
