I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
