im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
