I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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