I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Alive.
So much puke
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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