no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize