Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
