i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
