I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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