508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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