um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
