If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Watching her eat just hurts me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You have to summon your inner elephant
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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