youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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