i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
