Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
