Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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