whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize