I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
