dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
