I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
