After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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