the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize