no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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