no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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