I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
