Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
