Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
