you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
