Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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