Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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