I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
