Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
