what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
