I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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