im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
