i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
