whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
