when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
