Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wrigley field is MILF paradise
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize