I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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