You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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