I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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