Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
