Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
