Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
