Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
