Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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