There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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