honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
