dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
