The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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