I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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