saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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