I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
