the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
