ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize