Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
