SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
